Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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