the condom got lost in my hair
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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