Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
