the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
