i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
