Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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