quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
