Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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