I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
