Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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