I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
