the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
