I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
