if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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