Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
