I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You dont lie about slip and slides
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
