Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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