Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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