Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize