he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
