so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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