well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
handjob tips. give me some.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
