I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
