Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
