i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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