Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how drunk are you?
Several
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
