turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
