My balls are so social today.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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