I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize