she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sext me about skeletons
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
