what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
