I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize