He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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