on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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