I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
