I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
