Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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