Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
