Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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