dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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