As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
