There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
