He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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