next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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