Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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