It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
