I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
