How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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