It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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