He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
