quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
