When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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