I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
