3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
