I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize