bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
