I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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