I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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