So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
