I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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