What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
