As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
